Feelings: Solitary.

We spooned last night, and, in my state

I was able to feel what I hadn't let myself feel

in a while:

touch.

touch devoid of feeling,

touch straight from the nerves

to the libido,

not nearing the heart whatsoever

just touch.

I realized that I may have loved you

once

but anything I've felt for the last few months has been

less love and more dependence:

I depended on your friendship, your touch-

you have been the only one to touch me in months.

I thought I loved you, I was wrong.

This feeling was a deep friendship,

a plato of emotions.

We can touch, I realized, without a need for love:

we can kiss with empty lips; it will not spell the end of the world.

The only intimacy I feel for you is my desire to keep

your friendship,

this hollow love was the only way I knew to express it.

Until now.

Mon amie, je ne t'aime plus.

No comme ca.

Et rien ne pourrait me rendre plus heureux.